Behind the potatoes
by i-ate-the-biscuit
Summary: A few days after he returns to Storybrooke, Rumplestiltskin sees Belle again.
1. Chapter 1

He'd returned. Of course he'd returned, Storybrooke was his home, and he couldn't leave it forever. It was where he lost his son, father, wife, and at a certain point even his grandson. He had too many memories in that small town to just leave it behind.

Of course he'd had no choice but to leave.

His house had been in ruins when he returned. It had taken him several weeks to get the mice that had taken residence in the kitchen cupboards to leave again and he could still smell the stench of a long-forgotten home. Most days he didn't bother to put the heating on. Nothing could really make it feel like a home anymore.

He dealed, still. Collected rent every Saturday at different properties. Ran his shop. He had returned to his menacing ways, with one big exception. He didn't touch magic anymore. He'd shut it out as soon as he was pushed over the town line. He was certain that, would he want to, it would open up to him in the blink of an eye, but how could he still want it? No, he needed the reminder of what he'd lost in every step he set.

At first, the children made fun of him. Look, they would say, look, there goes the imp. Once he might have turned them into rats, but now he just hobbled along. The pain shooting through his ankle didn't matter, it served him right, really. Reminded him of how much of a coward he used to be and how that didn't change. But the parents started to hush the children. Averted their eyes when he came by. Nobody spoke to him anymore, but it was not out of fear. He could see their pity in the way they walked.

Snow had come by once to see what he wanted in the town. When she was absolutely satisfied he would not attempt to ruin their lives again, she had left. She didn't come back. Without magic, he had become as close to useless to the heroes as he could come.

He tried to maintain an air of who he used to be, really, he did. But he found he just couldn't care less about anything. When he looked in the mirror he only saw a shell: he wasn't the Dark One anymore, he wasn't even a man. It didn't matter that time passed, it didn't matter that someone was late on the rent, bloody hell, what did he care if a kid stole a trinket from the shop.

Every night, he'd walk to the bedroom. Light would shine into the room as he opened it, falling on the pillows and illuminating the walls. He tried to step over the threshold every single night, and failed just as many times. It seemed her perfume still clung to the sheets and her spirit darted around the room, taunting him. He cried every night as he closed the door, limped down the stairs and sat on the sofa. He didn't expect her to come back. He hoped she'd finally leave someday.

Maybe he liked the pain. Maybe that was why he still wore his wedding band around his finger. He could barely think of another reason. Because even if she'd want him back, he couldn't let her. Everything she had said was true. He was a monster, and she didn't deserve to be stuck with one. He tried to forget, to move on, for her.

He knew it was only a matter of time before he'd see her. Maybe she'd lock up the library one day as he'd lock up his shop, and he'd smell her perfume as the wind carried it across the street. Maybe she'd walk in as he was having a meal at Granny's, and she'd turn and leave again. Maybe she'd stop her car beside his at the traffic lights, and stare ahead until she was permitted through.

In the end, she was carrying a bag of potatoes to the grocery store check-out. He looked at her from behind the deodorant, clutching at his cane to keep himself upright. She'd seen him. Their eyes locked and somehow, he couldn't bring himself to look away. He had promised himself he wouldn't allow her to come close to him again, for her own sake. But he'd forgotten how blue her eyes were.

She didn't look good. Her hair was a mess, there were dark circles under her eyes and she was too skinny. Her features looked empty without her signature smile and she just... stared. Neither of them moved. Not closer, not further, because this seemed to be the only thing they could manage right now. Finally, clutching the potatoes to her stomach, she walked gingerly toward him. He was still frozen.

''Hey.'' She whispered.

He couldn't even stutter out a reply. He just looked at her, silently begging her to walk away now, while he could still contain himself. Please, Belle, please leave. But she didn't.

''I'm sorry.'' Her voice cracked under his gaze. ''I never meant to hurt you.''

His silence didn't break.

A tear trickled down her cheek. ''Please. Say something.''

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. ''Leave. Please.''

She choked on a sob, dropping the bag. Her hands clamped protectively around her swollen belly as she turned around. But he didn't see. He couldn't.


	2. Chapter 2

A knock on the door disturbed Rumple's evening spinning. He really wasn't expecting anyone. The encounter with Belle had, somehow, helped him. He was finally starting to get over her. He would always love her, and there would always be a hole in his heart, but he seemed to be discovering how he could live with that.

He got up, vowing to increase the rent of whoever was outside the door. He really did enjoy the spinning. Another knock served only to further agitate him. ''Bloody hell!'' He yelled, unlocking the door and swinging it open. ''Don't you people have patie...''

He froze as he saw who was standing on his doorstep. Fuck it all, he thought he was getting over the damn woman.

''I've thought about this long and hard so please just do nothing until I finish, alright?'' Belle asked, desperation clear on her face.

There was nothing Rumple could do but nod.

''I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. And that doesn't mean I'm not still mad for what you did but I should never have done what I did. I really wish you can forgive me. Though I know that when I finish that might be a lot harder. I'm sorry I didn't come to find you. I love you, Rumple, and I wanted to so many times but I couldn't. I wanted to be sure I still wanted to be with you first and then when I saw you again you told me to leave... I just couldn't try anymore. But I can't do this by myself. Rumple, I...'' Her breath caught as a sob ripped through her, making her unable to continue. Some part of him wanted to comfort her but he somehow managed to convince himself to let her finish. She had asked that after all.

''Please don't hate me, Rumple.'' She pulled a picture out of her pocket and handed it to him with shaking hands. It showed Belle in a hospital bed, holding what looked like a bundle of blankets. Upon closer inspection, he found it to be a baby. His mind went blank. Faraway, he heard Belle speak again. ''Isn't she beautiful? I had her four months ago. She's...'' She paused again. ''She's yours. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't mean to.''

He didn't hear anything else. He stammered back, grabbing onto the railing of the staircase. He sat down, sick to his stomach and furiously wishing she wasn't telling the truth. His blood pounded in his ears. He barely noticed as Belle sat down next to him, rubbing his back. He lifted his hands to his face, and realised he was crying.

''Rumple.'' Slowly, her voice started to sound clearer in his head. ''Rumple. Please?''

He never could refuse her.

He took a breath, sitting up a little straighter, trying to regain his previous composure. ''What's her name?''

''Lexie.'' She answered hesitantly. ''Her name's Lexie Gold. She's beautiful, Rumple. You should see her little smile.''

Something about that information broke him. He suddenly realised he had a child. A bloody child! ''You didn't tell me.'' He looked at her, anger rising up quickly. Okay, composure was maybe not an option right now.

''Well, you didn't exactly make it easy for me.'' She countered.

''I deserved to know about my child.'' His voice was raising.

''You told me to leave!'' She screamed.

''You didn't tell me!'' He yelled back.

'For fuck's sake, Gold, I didn't see you for months and months and then you told me to leave! I was going to tell you! Now can we please stop fighting because I can't deal with an infant and you at the same time!''

He looked into her eyes for two seconds, recognizing pleading, hope, need, want, all at once. ''I'm so fucking angry with you.'' He whispered before cupping her face in his hands and pressing his lips to hers. He had craved this for a long time, and his body responded immediately. He pulled her close, biting her lip. She moaned, the sound reverberating through his body. He deepened the kiss at that, tugging at her coat, her hair, anything he could get his hands on.

''I hate you.'' She growled.

''I love you.'' He moaned against her lips.

He moved himself on top of her, pushing her into the stairs, making his way down her jaw to her neck. He remembered every little mark that made her perfect and kissing her again made his body take over. He remembered the spots that made her scream, the spots that made her legs go weak, and found them with ease.

''Rum...'' She managed. ''Door.''

He grunted, lingering for a second, then pushing himself up forcefully and limping toward the door. He threw it shut with a bang, turning back to his wife (was she even still his wife? They'd have to work that out after).

''I can't begin to comprehend why you would keep my child from me.'' He said, voice sounding relatively calm for the state he was in.

''We can work this out.'' Belle replied. It only took her a second to reunite their lips. His arms wrapped around her instinctively, clutching at her waist as her fingers laced in his hair. ''But for now I really liked that thing we were doing.''

He growled against her mouth, pushing her against the wall with close to miraculous strength. She gasped at the pressure of his body against hers, and they melted together quickly. She angled her head, allowing him access of the sweet spot on her neck again, an opportunity he gladly took. He knew he was going to leave a mark. Good. He wanted everyone to know she was his, and his alone.

''I'm gonna kill you when we're done.'' He declared, nibbling at her earlobe as he listened to her shaky breaths.

''I know.'' She whispered, pulling his lips back to hers to get the kiss she was desperate for. It wasn't their usual kiss, it was tongues and teeth and desperation and anger and everything it never used to be. But it was what they needed. ''Bed.'' She managed to blurt out, remembering that no matter how much she wanted him to just fuck her against the wall, he would probably need a functional leg at some stage later in life.

He grunted some sort of confirmation of the plan against her, drawing her bottom lip into his mouth one last time before breaking away and leading the way to the master bedroom. The journey was short but full of tension and as soon as the door opened, they were back on each other again. Belle pulled Rumple close by the lapels of his suit jacket, pushing against him until they were stumbling against the bed. The shock bent Rumple's knees and he pulled Belle down with him instinctively, wrapping his arm around her waist and his other hand around her head, protecting her. He stared up at her for a moment, looking right past her deep blue eyes and into her soul. She was sorry, he knew that, of course he did. But right now, he didn't want to hear it. He just wanted his cock buried in her so deep she'd burst.

He flipped Belle around swiftly, pinning her down, and manoeuvring her up the bed. He quickly set to work at unbuttoning her coat. Within seconds, all their clothes lay discarded on the floor, forgotten for the time being. Rumple let his hands wander over places he had longed for so many hours. Her breasts were still as soft as he remembered, but slightly overfilled his hands now. Her stomach still clenched involuntarily as he placed a featherlight kiss under her ribs, before moving down and leaving marks all over her skin. His fingers caressed her thighs as he lingered, inhaling her deeply, and a deep wave of love came over him.

''Rum...'' Belle whimpered, desperately trying to get him to come up. ''Please...''

She had always known she had him at that.

He left her stomach, fully satisfied with the trail of bruises he had left. She grasped at him, wrapping a hand around his neck, forcing him to kiss her deeply and fiercely. Not that he was complaining. At all. He loved how her hands slid over him, pulling him closer in all the right places, trying to get him to do what she wanted.

''I know you always try to be the gentleman, Rum'' She gasped as his erection found just the right spot to rub against ''but can you please just fuck me?'' Her eyes looked through him and, God damn it, she always asked so nicely.

He grinned, lining them up out of pure memory and bringing his lips next to her ear. ''With pleasure.'' He murmured as he pushed into her, hot breaths escaping him.

Her face scrunched up in the way it always did when he didn't take his time entering her. But right now, he didn't have time. His hands slid behind her shoulders and her legs closed around his waist quickly, getting as close as possible. Her nails dug into his back as he moved.

''You. Are. Mine.'' He grunted, punctuating every word with a thrust. He could feel Belle shaking in his arms, but he wasn't sure if the sobbing sound he was currently hearing had anything to do with it. He put it on his mental to do list, quickly becoming unable to hold a thought for more than a few seconds.

''Fuck, Rum...'' Belle gasped before throwing her head back. The look on her face as she came pulled him down with her. They rode their orgasms together, in one perfect moment of bliss.

They'd never done this before, quick and desperate, but he had a feeling they needed to do it more often.

It was a while before he realised Belle had tears rolling down her cheeks. He rolled off her, stroking her hair. ''Hey...'' He whispered. ''What's wrong? Did I hurt you?''

This sex was, apparently, also the best way to get rid of anger. They really needed to try this more often.

''I'm sorry, Rum. I didn't mean to hurt you so much.''

He looked down on her, face soft and a smile on his lips. ''Don't worry about it for now, okay? You did what you thought was the right thing. I know you tried really hard, love.'' He kissed her cheek.

She let out a strangled sob. ''But I should have told you.''

He gathered her up in his arms, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck. ''You should have told me.'' He agreed.


End file.
